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Self-Worth (Part 3 of 3): Who You Really Are - by Tad Lusk, LPC

Self-Worth (Part 3 of 3): Who You Really Are - by Tad Lusk, LPC

“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

Brené Brown

As we conclude this three-part series on building authentic, genuine, and unshakable self-worth, let’s take a quick look back at what we’ve covered so far: 

Part 1:

  • Virtually everyone has some form of “bully” in the mind, a critical inner voice of doubt, or “negative self-talk.”
  • If left unchecked, negative self-talk can turn into negative core beliefs that erode your confidence and damage your sense of self-worth.
  • You are in control of your thoughts. So watch out for the bully and start to change your self-talk. Fight back and don’t believe the lies. If you want to improve how you feel about yourself, you need to stop beating yourself up first.

Part 2:

  • In addition to breaking old, bad habits of negative thinking about yourself, it’s important to develop new positive beliefs.
  • Affirmations are one of the most powerful and effective ways to instill new beliefs.
  • The most effective affirmations will be simple, present tense, empowering and will feel meaningful for you personally.

Finally, in this blog we’ll uncover the true source of self-worth. But first, I want to point out where self-worth doesn’t come from.

The following have nothing to do with true self-worth.

  • Achievements
  • Awards
  • Accolades
  • Recognition
  • Promotions
  • Popularity
  • Wealth
  • Possessions
  • Status
  • Power
  • Appearance

Now, I want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with any of these things. These can all be worthwhile parts of life to be enjoyed in their own way.

They simply don’t add to self-worth at all.

Many of us strain and strive with most of our time and energy pursuing these things. Yet we wonder why even when we achieve them there still seems to be something missing. Why is it never “enough?”

You’ll likely notice something in common with all of the above pursuits.

And it’s probably the greatest key to why so many people struggle with self-worth.

All of the above are external. They are all circumstances outside of us.

And again, while there’s nothing wrong with pursuing and enjoying these aspects of life, the problem arises when we look for our sense of self-worth in outer circumstances, where it can’t be found.

True self-worth comes from within.

It comes from accepting and loving yourself, unconditionally—strengths, weaknesses, growth, mistakes–all of it.

It comes from knowing yourself deeply.

It comes from knowing what you value most, and living true to your values.

It comes from living with integrity—being honest and authentic with yourself and others.

It comes from spending time on the people and pursuits most important to you.

It comes from being able to look yourself in the mirror and know you are trying to live your best life.

It comes from trying to become a bit more kind, patient, caring, and compassionate.

It comes from the love you allow yourself to give—and receive—with others.

It comes from knowing that—like Fred Rogers said—“there is no one in the whole world quite like you.”

It comes from remembering that you are a unique, conscious, living human being here on Earth to experience and fulfill your purpose in this life (even if you’re not sure what that is yet).

It comes from remembering that all life is valuable—including yours.

For Your Consideration… 

  • What would the people in your life say they love and appreciate about you the most?
  • In addition to all your activities, roles, and responsibilities, how would you describe who you are? What do you most value in life?
  • It might sound morbid, but try writing your obituary. Imagine you had lived your best life: what do you hope people would most remember about you? What does this tell you about what’s most important in your life?

I hope you’ve enjoyed this series, and I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights in the comments. Feel free to share about your own journey to self-worth.

Be well and I’ll see you in the next blog!

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